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Wow. I love what I do, and I do what I love...

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Me... as naked as it gets... just make up... not even wearing a smile. Nobody sees me without make-up anymore... sad, I know

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=) Woohoo.

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Originally uploaded by samisimplicity

I decided to start a 365 project... =) lets see if i can stick to it. =) I've wanted to do it for a while... Finally, I'm starting!

Anyways

I'm Baaaaack.

I had a month from Hell in Kansas.
I started this blog back when I was 16. Now I have just turned 18, this Sunday.
So much has changed since this blog was started... and so much has stayed the same.
For one, I don't blog nearly as much as I'd like to anymore.
I was very confident when I started this blog... and I lost some of that.
I didn't know anyone in Tennessee when I started this blog... and now I have hundreds.
I was just a girl from out of town when I started this blog... now I play an important role in the community.
I had never felt so loved... and I had never felt so hated...
I'll be uploading photos of my vacation soon!

On the agenda this week: Brandon and Zaxby's tomorrow...
Brittany will be flying in to see me Saturday!

Kansas and Cancer

The two most depressing things right now for me.
Well, if you have been a loyal reader, you know I have always been surrounded by people with crisis.
If I love them, crisis is sure to follow.
So... why break the pattern now?
People I love in pensacola loosing their homes... 2 more cancer cases... and other issues I'm not getting into.
ANYWAY... I fugured it out...
God sends them to me. I keep a smile and a possitive outlook when it's somebody else.
A couple months after meeting each person... something insane happens.
OK. So.. Usually, I get this feeling that things are OK if they are... and I feel comfortable telling people that it will all be OK.
With one of these cancer cases... I can't bring myself to tell her she will overcome it... and it scares me... because the last person I got this feeling with was Carmen (Go back to August 09 in archives)

And i am stuck in Kansas... with nothing but dead fields around... and the peole I am spending time around are so negative here.
I'll escape with my step-mom tomorrow to visit my grea aunt, who is a bit more possitive...
Can't wait to be home...
(I'll be returning to TN on my birthday, July 18)

=) Summer

Summer Rally

Remember last June, when I went away for a week, and canoed, and meditated, and did a 12 hour silence...???
It's that time of year.
My clothes are IN the wash RIGHT now. =)
Leaving bright and early tomorrow.

See this?

Young Dancer 2
Originally uploaded by Psych101

I watched 8 year olds up on their toes like this just playing around back stage at the recital.... had to share!

Wow.

I almost forgot about this thing... I've been SO busy...
Anyway, I know I've talked about Lexie here before... and I got to watch her dance this weekend. She is so beautiful and talented!
They brought tears to my eyes during the ballet portion of the recital. AND FINALLY... I got a photo of us!

Her mommy got me a job working with these girls, and doing hair/make-up/costumes for them. I had SO much fun... but in the 72 hours I was helping, I got MAYBE 10 hours of sleep... and that's pushing it.

I'd do it again in a heart beat!

♥ 277 //

You are currently reading blog post 277 of this blog. I am SO close to 300. I can't wait. If I can remember, I will try and post my longest post EVER for 300. hehe
Anyway... today was long. Tomorrow is my last official day of school. After that, exams, and we're out!
I can't stand how my mom and dad act sometimes... I mean, grow up. Mom always tells me that I 'CHOOSE to let people influence' my day... and dad decides not to go to walmart with her because he needs time, and she gets all bitchy for the day... and then dad is so depressed when we are not financially wonderful, that he sits and does nothing... which adds to the instability of the financial situation... get it?

♥ kindra //

She's back. We cranked the lawn mower. Yeah, you're jealous. We are eating popcorn, candy, drinking unhealthy drinks, and she is eating slim jims... yeah... this will be a good night.

Colbie Caillat - Fallin' For You (Official Video)

I think this basically sums up my situation... but he's not that annoying... and he's definately more attractive... <3 lalala

why?

Wow. I really am falling for this guy.
Here's the thing though... I don't want to fall for him... wasn't exactly who I felt like I wanted to be with... and I feel like I am only 17... what do I know about love?
I don't want him to know I am falling for him either... but ugh. He's my first thought in the morning, and last thought at night. I get all giddy and bubbly when I think of him...
and I promised myself not to fall for anyone for a while...
WHY OH WHY?

So busy...

Originally uploaded by Suus Wansink

I feel like I do so much... and get left in the pouring rain. I feel like I put my heart into everything I do, and I do it to the fullest if I say I will... and what do I get out of it? A sore shoulder, a broken heart, and a punch in my self esteems gut. =(

The very ones who I thought I could trust to stay with me, seemed to have flown out my window, and they opened it by themselves...
This time, I didn't push them away... and I am left exhausted... and laying here... wondering what to do next!

Wow.

I haven't been on here in a while.
A LOT has happened. I broke a finger... =/
I went on a 6 mile hike in the Smoky Mt. National Park
I have been 2 weeks without seeing Chickadee
and 2 weeks without seeing Jake
We signed yearbooks
I cried
My "Loyal Reader" has not been posting
Wonder if all is well with him/her?

Hello lovely people

Sooo... I have had a few requests to give shout outs to certain blogs. I would like to say that I am not a major shouter-outer... but if you would like me to give a shout out in the next week or so, comment on this post with a LINK to your blog that you want promoted... NO personal websites. NO spam.

I will check out your blog, and decide whether it's worth the shout out or not.

My Mom

Dear Mom,
I know we have our differences. I know we argue a lot, and I am not always the ideal daughter... but even in that, you recognize the few ideal traits I have, and look at me with those.
I know I can be a pain at times, and I know sometimes you probably don't want to deal with me... but you do.
Even though we can be at each other's throats for days at a time, I still look at you, and have a big relief in my heart when I am reminded that our relationship is unique.
Most girls run and tell their best friend about the boy she met. Most girls run and talk to their best friend when they have a broken heart. And usually, most girls would sneak past their mom to go out with their best friend at night...
I am fortunate enough to say that you ARE my best friend in that respect, and I love that I can trust you that much.
Happy Mothers Day Mommy!!!

To all my moms

Dear Moms.
It's Mothers Day.
Of course I came from MY mommy, but I have picked up moms throughout the years. I love you ladies dearly. You all do a lot for me.
Sometimes I can feel lonely, useless, and insecure. Sometimes I can feel down, and in trouble. Sometimes I can feel like there is no pain like that that I am feeling... But always, one of you comes through for me.
I have felt lonely, forgotten, neglected, and insecure... and each time those little thoughts come into play, you tackle them down, and make me feel needed and loved.
I love you guys!

here.

She sits here
watching everyone
every day she grows
and she loves them more
but she simply watches
like her favorite show
and once in a while
they invite her on as a guest
but by the next episode
she has been forgotten
and nobody remembers her
nobody knows her love
and she weeps in the shadow
but is not noticed once
she is nobody's first thought
and nobody's last
but she loved them all
more than anyone loved them

Feeling Groovy

I am sitting in school right now.
The catch: We have no school today.
I am using a teachers computer to broadcast this blog.
I am being held by a 6 year old and a 4 year old.
It's cold.
I have a small space heater behind this desk.
They are torturing me with "Bolt"
The halls are empty. Nobody in sight.
Nobody in any classrooms.

=)

(^_^)

I love love love people. I think today will be wonderful.
I am heading up to pigeon forge for Lexie-Nay's birthday.
Life is so good.
My sinuses are acting like waterfalls. YAY. LOL.

I know what love is

This is a song from LeRoy White. Please take a couple minutes to read these lyrics.
It's worth it!


There's a little girl
with pretty curls
She's about 5 years old
and she's waiting at the gate
for her dad to come home

As he pulls around the corner
In his shiny white car
she feels the magic
light up in her heart.

And he picks her up
and he holds her
He says "I missed ya,
and I'm glad that your here"

As the little girl
lays her head on his shoulder
she whispers these words
in his ear

She says:
"Daddy,
I know exactly what love is
Love is real tender and true
love is the feeling my heart gets
when I'm being held close by you"

Now she's twenty,
and there's plenty
of love everywhere
She's getting married this morning
and her friends are all here

They gather together
to stand by her side
And she says goodbye
to this time in her life

And they each take
a moment to hold her
And tell her what she means to them

In a world that seems
to keep getting colder
She's been blessed
with warm family and friends


She says:
"I know exactly what love is
Love is real tender and true
love is the feeling my heart gets
when I'm being held close by you"


Now she is older
and no one told her
it gets crazy like this

She's going to night school
working two jobs
and she's raising three kids

The youngest one is crying
with a bruise on her knee
She needs attention
she needs sympathy

And she picks her up and she holds her
She remembers that magic she had
As the little girl lays her head on her shoulder
She knows exactly why she's workin this hard

She says:
"Little one,
I know exactly what love is
Love is real tender and true
love is the feeling my heart gets
when I'm being held close by you"

Now they are sixty
and their history
runs near forty years

They've burried their parents
and their grandkids are here
There's somethin about the way
they look in eachothers eyes

Speaks warmly about the meaning of life

And he holds his arms out to hold her
the feeling so familiar and warm
she thinks love's an unending endevour
from the last breath
to the first when your born

She says
"I know exactly what love is
Love is real tender and true
love is the feeling my heart gets
when I'm being held close by you"

Now she is eighty
and she's tired of being
in this home

her mans been gone for so long
and she feels so alone

she closes her eyes
and she begins to pray
a little comfort
just might come her way

And god picks her up
and he holds her
and she remembers
that feeling she had

She's not a woman,
whose life's almost over
She's a little girl
being held by her dad

Dance!

OK. Yesterday, I had the chance to go to Lexie's dance competition. All three of the pieces she performed recieved a 'Gold' recognition.
I sat with Jake and Nana... Kristi was backstage most of the performance.
We went to Ruby Tuesday for lunch, and I stuffed my face with portabella mushrooms. MMMMM.
Lexie was asleep by the time I got home. Poor thing was exhausted.
But, I very much enjoyed being able to talk with Nana during the breaks. I learned quite a bit. Plus I feel blessed to have stumbled upon this family.

Busy me, back to the real world tomorrow. As for today, however, I will be sitting around, skipping church for the first time in a while... hummmm

Florida pics

Lay me down to rest

Lay Me Down So I Can Sleep, And Let Me Rest In Peace
Originally uploaded by charitykennedy

I feel just like this today. Worn down, over worked, tired, but relaxed. Somewhat stressed, and EVERYTHING IS BLACK AND WHITE!

Change

Change:
It brings healing.
It brings pain.
I have decided, no matter what people think... I am content with the people I spend my time with.
Lexie and Jake are Ms. McCords angel-demons. hehe... I mean 'kids.' That family is one of the greatest things that has happened to me. Remember when I met Christi last year, about this time... actually... it was earth day last year... =) Well... similar, but different.
I met Ms. McCord, who happens to be named Kristi (hehe... both with 'I's' at the end of their names), at school LAST year... but never got close to her. I started getting to know her around the end of last semester, and just grew closer to them. It wasn't as instant of a connection as many prior... but, I don't know what I would do without her and her family.
Right now, I am helping her with Lexie's 8th birthday... They are fantastic kids, even if they can be a little rough.
I'll tell you how that plays out. =)

Today...

I saw some of the greatest people I have ever known.

I saw Mrs. Sanderson, and wanted to cry when I left.

I saw Mr. Gallagher... and wanted to cry when I left.

These two are just the greatest. It meant so much to see them. Gallagher, or Gaylicker, spent the whole day with me, and I was SO relieved to find out that he has a girlfriend... and just GUESS what her name is... guess...

Jeanne.

Photoshoot

Originally uploaded by ✖ chérie

I have a photoshoot Saturday... on top of the fact that we are moving to a new house that day also. I am so excited about both!
Today we went shopping and got a dress for my shoot, and looked at dishes for the new house

Here comes the sun

Originally uploaded by empiezaporte

Here comes the sun ♪ ♫
I am about to head out with Brandon. I love that kid! haha. We ARE going to school, but it just makes me think we are kicking off one hell of a week.
I always love spending time with Brandon... especially because his personality is so much like Brittany's... at the same time... they are SO opposites.
I had a dream last night that was really weird... and then, at 4:48 this morning, somebody called me with a restricted number. Whoever this is has been calling me for the past 24 hours, at random times. I think I suspect who it is... and I think it's just to annoy the hell out of me... UGH

99 CENT FRIES

99 CENT FRIES
Originally uploaded by skandinavia

This so reminds me of my best friend. Oh, how I miss her. =)
We would sit out in the sun for hours. The one in the yellow would be Brittany, and the one in the white would be me... =) I love this

If you were stranded on a desert island, which one person would you bring with you?

AHHH! I am tied between 2. One would be Brandon... but I'm afraid he'd get an awful sunburn, and would enjoy it less...
Brittany... would tan well, swim a bunch, and as long as she had a camera, we'd be in pretty good shape. HAHA!. I gotta love that girl!

Ask me anything

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