♥ why //

Why does my mom have to go back to school?
Why does she have to work a busy job like this?
Why can't she hear me out?
Why won't she let me stay here?
Why?

OK. So... I don't want her to go back to school! She is going for her masters, which is great, but when she is in school I see her 2000x less. I will graduate by the time she does. So much for having my Mom around...
I mean, she put up this HUGE fight for me to stay around my senior year... and then, she is not going to... WTF?

Then she gets this job... great... money... lots... but... she is NONSTOP. 9 o' clock at night, she is working out a spreadsheet, noon, she is putting hours in... every day something like this

Then... like... I admit, OCCASIONALLY, I don't attend our FAMILY dinner, but she makes me feel like it's the only reason we don't talk... but I'm sorry, sometimes I want to say something to my mom in private, away from the table... it's not ALWAYS about something that is DINNER TABLE material, and guess what, just cause I want to talk after dinner, doesn't mean I "should have sat with everyone at dinner" because chances are, with EVERYONE chatting, anything important I want to say will get lost in convo.

Then, I present an exceptional set of ideas for why I could stay with my grandma if they moved 5 minutes away, and she got upset "It sounds like you don't wanna be around us."

She is such a hypocritical person....

♥ pictures //

So did I tell you, that I went in to my ex's mom's hair salon, and had an appointment with her... and the douche bag STILL hasn't told her we broke up...
and wanted me to LIE to her.... like... WHAT THE HELL... How am I supposed to stay true to the me inside, when the asshole I care about most wants me to fucking lie, even though it was very clear... the whole "I will support you in tough times".... He will probably deny that... but guess what... I have proof of that one... it was sent in writing... OH yea... forgot about that didn't you Casey....?

You know... it's one thing to be an ASS on your bad days... it's another to be an ASS all the time... and that I feel is what it has come to. So much for staying best friends/close friends

OK...
Now thats out. pretty pictures I snapped this week

♥ epitome //

OK. So...
Catch up.
Last thursday, we cleaned up the river as an earth week event for recycling club and science. It was AMAZING. We cleaned up SO SO much, and we had fun. The water was freezing. Good times.
haha

Then FRIDAY
I came home from school, and Grandma and Esther were in the hospital! WhAT THE frog?
anyway. thats all I can say now...
I have to go. call/text me

♥ week //

This week has been the epitome of blessed. I had a chance to see Penguin... which I have missed immensely. I also got to go SHOPPING... I got LOADS of new stuff. And as far as spiritual goes... I had an amazing chance to go to Unity Village. Even though I complained of boredom, overall, this week was PRICELESS.

OK. My Penguin is Skyler... My little cousin. he is three years old. He has GROWN so so so so much... and I was SO happy to see him. I played ball with him, rode little 50 cent rides at the mall, and even tucked him into bed. I love him so much. I finally told him I was going home, and he gave me this sad look and said Sami, you can't go. I don't want you to. You can stay here with me," and I felt so bad. =(

We also did some shopping. Overall, I got about $250-$300 worth. It included a sweater, 9 shirts, 3 jeans, a skirt, 2 pairs of shoes, 1 scarf, 1 necklace, a purse, and a pair of sunglasses. I think thats it. I love shopping. I always tell Poppy: "Shopping is my sport, and you are my sponsor."

I also had a chance to visit Unity Village. You can get a better understanding of it if you Google Unity Church. I can't really tie everything in. But, Unity helped me with this trip a LOT. If I would have been here a year ago, I would have been filled with hate and anger, but instead, I chose to see the Christ, and good intention in everyone. I felt the appreciation. =)

Overall I would say it was a great trip. I saw new things, re-united with people I loved, and came back with both memories, and tangible items. I am eager to come back in the summer to see what is in store for me!

♥ perfect //

Yes... I admit... At the start of this trip, I, the optimist, was a pessimist. BUT... My spirits have changed over the past couple days... now that I am DOING stuff... Like.. for example... today... we went to UNITY VILLAGE! It was PURE fun. I loved it... we drove around, walked the labyrinth, visited the bookstore, had an amazing smoothie, and headed to the road again.
On the road, everytime we passed a car, I stuck out my toungue, and wiggled my fingers by my ears, and said "blooloolooloo" at the driver of the vehicle we passed. I got 2 people to do it back, and countless to laugh along.
Then, we spontaneously decided to stop at the house where amelia earhart was born... and we took a tour of the home... by the way... it was CREEPY!!!
Now I am home, and I am uploading some pics... and about to go to work with my grandma... and shop some more.

♥ kansas //

OK. I flew in Saturday. It was fun... I went to the Casino with Jamie. We had a blast. I discovered a good cupholder is your own cleavage... even though you look like a RETARD trying to drink from it... LMAO...
OK... then EASTER... we went to Jamie's and colored eggs, and hid plastic ones for Penguin. Then we went to Uncle Reggies... which I haven't seen in about 6 years.
It was fun.
Moday... we went shopping... I got an amazing sweater... that normally would be a "hell no" because it was 55 bucks... I also got a new pair of skinny jeans and 2 shirts. I have a new camera... and tomorrow, I will be doing more shopping after heading to unity village.
YAY!
today we went and saw buffalo! haha... quack. and then I hung out and took a walk around our town. =)

♥ hope //

OK... so we broke up... but we still hang out... he said that we will always be close friends... and now, we are REALLY starting to get along again... it was a fight I think... but I think we will be back together... I said NO UP AND DOWN relationships, and said I will only go back ONCE... if we break up twice, I won't deal with it.

So, today, we went to the Karaoke Cafe, which is his work... and I sang an ADAPTATION of Stacy's Mom, and made it Casey's Mom... he was SO embarrassed... but he hugged me again... =)

Now I am going to get some rest.... I have 6 hrs of airline to deal with tomorrow.

♥ love //

Sometimes, I have learned, even though it is hard, if you love somebody, you must let them go. I never quite understood that until recently... and I realized, I had to let go, because even if it hurt, it was what was best for the other person. I continue to struggle through this one. I have never been so torn up over a break-up... but we saw each other in school, and though it felt quite awkward, we hugged, and moved on with our days... I moved to my next class where I cried. I am so emotionally beat, but I have kept a smile on my face. I am glad to know people around me support me...
Those people, I assume, do not know me behind closed doors, and have no clue that I have cried myself to sleep for the past three nights, and am teary again...
I am in denial I believe... my valentine gift is still on my wall, and I just CAN'T take it down... and a picture of us, along with items that were left at my house... I will be sending them back soon... but its quite difficult.

♥ snow //

It's april... and it is a snow day? WHAT IN THE WORLD?
Oh well. Gives me an opportunity to get shit done...
preparing for kristy...
Can't wait to see her.

♥ minister //

I have gone through MANY things I want to do...
but all my ideas lacked ONE of the things I want in a job...
My biggest passions:
Helping people
Performing
Reaching out to children
Keeping sense of faith
Music
and a constant love, and acceptance from the people around you...

OK... So... I thought of acting...
But, I may not be able to get into that... Not only is it competitive, but it also tests one's morals, and it has a lot of hatred from competitors.

Then Psychology...
But... that takes away from my performing....

So I thought teacher...
but in the schools now, I can't express my faith, and be accepted in a primarily christian society...

So I thought and thought...
and POOF...
I have it///
I want to be a minister for unity...
the beliefs are right with mine,
I love praying with the group
and leading service was a major highlight for me...
=)

♥ friends //

OK... so people have been asking ALL day and yesterday, and the day before if I really am single again... and I am... indeed. I was VERY sad to break the relationship off... and cried all day saturday... but I decided I am gonna be happy... no up and down relationships... just fun being a teen... =) We are still gonna be FRIENDS with each other, but not dating right now...
When you love somebody to a certain extent, they will leave a big footprint on your heart, so of course I still have feelings, but, I know that I am moving on with my life... and that every love will have a place in my heart.... forever... even if things don't work out..
I hold no grudge, and promote loving, positive energy....
I am Sami Simplicity
And I am Strong

Strength does not mean that I will not show emotion... it means that I will express and acknowledge my feelings, let them out, and accept them in order to move on... I have shed, and probably will shed countless tears over this... and I am happy to say so...
I got an amazing friendship out of this relationship, and I will be fine... and I will be a body in representation of internal strength and will power...

OK...
thats my lil PREACHIN' CLIP for the day////

♥ cry //

I have no reason logically in my head. It is SO weird... I am happy, and excited, and just over the top happy, but I feel sad tears swelling my eyeballs... =( WHY? I am HAPPY... I am excited... logic says I have no reason to cry
It was April FOOLS...
I LAUGHED today
then I found out Kristy will be here
and then there was a short setback with Esther having pneumonia...
and we took my friend Sydney home after rehearsal, which I did exceedingly well in...
and THEN life got greater as I looked forward to tomorrow...
and I realized how much fun time I have ahead of me this week...
I ate a YUMMY dinner
and worked on my Literary Analysis paper on James Hurst...

So WHY? WHY the sad, overwhelming feeling?

♥ worried sick //

Esther, my aunt... just moved to TN with us... she is living a few miles off... and a few days ago... they had to take her to the ER... she wasn't breathing...
Well... she still has yet to see home.
Each night, they have said they are keeping her "AGAIN", and "AGAIN"... but never "JUST ONE MORE NIGHT..."
WELL
Today I discovered, she has icky pneumonia...
NOW... I understand this isn't too big of a deal...
but in my state of mind... she has other health problems
her sister had OTHER health problems... and she died when she got pneumonia.
=(

♥ psyched //

Amy is here... Tomorrow
Kristy is here... Next week
Sami is here... TO STAY
My plane is here... Next week

I have a busy, fun filled future ahead of me... for shizzle....