Why does my mom have to go back to school?
Why does she have to work a busy job like this?
Why can't she hear me out?
Why won't she let me stay here?
Why?
OK. So... I don't want her to go back to school! She is going for her masters, which is great, but when she is in school I see her 2000x less. I will graduate by the time she does. So much for having my Mom around...
I mean, she put up this HUGE fight for me to stay around my senior year... and then, she is not going to... WTF?
Then she gets this job... great... money... lots... but... she is NONSTOP. 9 o' clock at night, she is working out a spreadsheet, noon, she is putting hours in... every day something like this
Then... like... I admit, OCCASIONALLY, I don't attend our FAMILY dinner, but she makes me feel like it's the only reason we don't talk... but I'm sorry, sometimes I want to say something to my mom in private, away from the table... it's not ALWAYS about something that is DINNER TABLE material, and guess what, just cause I want to talk after dinner, doesn't mean I "should have sat with everyone at dinner" because chances are, with EVERYONE chatting, anything important I want to say will get lost in convo.
Then, I present an exceptional set of ideas for why I could stay with my grandma if they moved 5 minutes away, and she got upset "It sounds like you don't wanna be around us."
She is such a hypocritical person....
Communication is a two-way street. I'm totally going to be a parent for a minute...she works so you can enjoy the things you enjoy. Not having a job is tough for a parent! Sometimes you give and sometimes you take, be the giver right now! You and your mother have a great relationship...remember that.
ReplyDeleteWrite her a note. Tell her what you are feeling. Sometimes parents are too busy and worried and they don't take enough time out to hear what we want them to hear. Sometimes it's easier to put pen to paper (or ink to printer) than to say aloud what we want to say. You feel somewhat abandoned and then when you talk about staying with your grandma she feels rejected.
ReplyDeleteYou have an interesting family set up right now - and difficult for you. These are the formative years and often we feel like we need a bit more attention than our parents spare for us and at other times we can't get far enough away from them. With the current economy parents think about money matters. They fear not being able to provide and this fear edges out the other concerns.
She's doing what she feels is best. Realize that this is another way of her saying "I love you" and work to get the max out of the time you do have together. You can use letters or notes with parents the way most now use texting. It can help you two to share feelings and keep in touch despite the time loss.