How I Use Facebook

THANKS CHRISTY FOR THIS SUGGESTION

I am pretty sure I use facebook the same way the rest of the world does... but here it goes:

6:00am alarm goes off, I hit snooze... 6:07, same alarm tone... I sit up, and check facebook.
I check through everybody's comments, and if it's somebody I really want to talk to, I reply. Otherwise, I usually wait for a week or so to even like the comment... sort of in hopes that they will quit liking and commenting on every status update I post.
I then check my business page... which is sort of goofy, being that I've closed my business... but don't hate.
I then go to the search bar, and spend the next 45 minutes or so getting my fix of funny photos from "the secret to humor is surprise"
I then log off on the laptop, and launch it on my android. I'm out the door...
Then I search my ex boyfriends page... creep on him for a bit... insult his current girlfriend in my head...
Then I stop for a while and stalk Lisa... She posts ike 5 times a day, so I can periodically stalk her through the day. She knows I stalk her... It's totally legal.
Then I avoid 99% of the IMs I get from guys who are obsessed with me for no reason. I want to delete them, but I don't want their feelings to get hurt.
Then I play a few ridiculous games... (songpop, snake, etc) And repeat the process each day. It's a healthy lifestyle.

(Apparently some people don't have IQs... so really I was being sarcastic and mimicking the majority of idiots I have encountered... except for the stalking Lisa part... but Facebook is the least effective way to succeed at that.)