Public Interview

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/samisimplicity
It's basically a public interview. I may end up posting questions and responses here

It's spring again

Ang Langaw Skandal | THANK GOD ITS FLYDAY (TGIF)
Originally uploaded by DR. MARIΟ™

It's spring... and it's beautiful. I am off to church, and feeling that this will be a wonderful day... =)

Finale - Banana Republic

Finale - Banana Republic
Originally uploaded by ICT_photo

I love my best friends:
Britany- You are the most wonderful friend, always. Through thick and thin... You're wonderful... and you know it
Brandon- Gosh... I am so in love with being your best friend. I don't know what I would do without you!

Today

diamonds are 4ever, but they make me cry
Originally uploaded by bye bye オモイデ

Today, I found out, that Kevin, does, indeed, have another girlfriend. I cried, and I don't think he knows it... I was sitting right next to him, but I just leaned against the window for the ride home, and pretended to sleep.
I realized he is moving on... and it hurts so bad.
I am sitting at the fork in the road, watching the path I wanted to take be yanked p by an angry construction crew right before my eyes...
Basically... I am stuck

Letter to a friend

Healing.
Originally uploaded by WolfS♡ul

Dear Dani...
I think that you are being completely unreasonable. You are such a strong, confident, loving, and BEAUTIFUL woman... To see you put up with this treatment from the man who is supposed to be your husband, and the father of your children is completely ridiculous.
You say you are afraid of not having anyone there for you... well newsflash: The man has been in another state for MONTHS... when is the last time the kids even saw him?
The idea that you are working 2 jobs, consistently, and he fails to keep 1, upsets me.
I know... trust me when I say... I KNOW it's not my business, but I think you have done an outstanding job with your children. Even though they occasionally act up, they are boys, and yours are the MOST respectful I have EVER worked with.
Want to know the only difference between leaving the relationship and staying? If you leave, at least he will have to pay child support, and maybe you could find a real man who can treat you with the respect you deserve.
I know I told you before that you deserve SO much more than he has to offer... but I neglected to mention how POSSIBLE it would be for you to do better.
You can't sit and live this way, leaning on him to do things for you, when he only pulls through 5% of the time.
Your children look up to you so much, and you want them to know their mom is a STRONG, INDEPENDENT, woman... and you are, so what's holding you back now???

---sorry, had to vent it---

Bittersweet

*Out in the wild
Originally uploaded by Bítter Sweet

Humm... My day, is SO much like this pair of shoes, wild, stylish, fun, and painful.
I performed in 'To Kill A Mockingbird' today for our tournament, and I think we did very well.
I had fun, we ate like pigs, we laughed 'til we cried, and I just loved life...

Downsides: This girl from school called my a ho, said I have a pig nose, and called my best friend a fag.
This other girl who was in the tournament with me continuously insulted me every time the opportunity arose... it hurt pretty bad... plus I was recently told by another girl that i am "just not cut out for drama"

The thing that bothers me, is even if I dislike somebody, I treat them with respect, and love, because I ty to practice what I preach.

One more entry tonight... may be private!

Imagine....

Imagine....
Originally uploaded by Super маҳч ©

I am in a wonderful world right now.
Living without fear, or hate. Only happiness.
Now, I have never been afraid of reptiles of any sort, but so many people are... and I just fell in love with this photo... because I overstep those boundaries!

Rally!

She Found Herself a Nice Spot to Read

She Found Herself a Nice Spot to Read
Originally uploaded by AnnuskA - AnnA Theodora

I am home safe from my retreat... a little frustrated with some things.... I see happy, new mom to my left, and I see a mom who is over it with her first teenager to my right... and I realize what a blessing life is. In some ways we are spitting images of our parents... in others we are complete opposites... but when we look at it deeper, we all are just looking for the feeling of appreciation, love, and admiration....
=)
If I could, I would get things to work out well for everyone... because it would make me happy... so much so, that I would feel fulfilled in life...

Now I am sort of babbling.
Oh, I love life!

Dark edges

ralph's choice
Originally uploaded by harold.lloyd (won't somebody think of the bokeh?)

I have dark edges
but all around I am so bright
shining,
straight to the heart
So... I am working now on a photo diary, and I will do a few videos too... I think I'll make it into a short video-journal of this coming weekend... which will be amazing...
Spring Church Rally for those of you who haven't followed long!
See what comes of it!

Conjugal Tie

Conjugal Tie
Originally uploaded by ♥Spice / Tryin' to catch up!

I am pretty much DRAINED. My ACT testing was today, and then I went to a soccer game. On the bright side, I got potato wedges, and mountain dew, and somebody complimented my hair! HAHA. Anyway. This is sort of a check-in.
If you are just scrolling by, subscribe... I am actually pretty interesting!

Pictures

I think I love taking photos. Again... these are mine... some of the flikr posts are NOT mine.. The one OF me is not mine however... It was taken by a lovely photographer, and awesome friend, Lisa Wade. I am working on getting my camera back in action... I have one more post I am posting today I think... so... yeah... =)

woods

woods
Originally uploaded by Eva Rosa

I am so excited! Today we are going to Alice and Wonderland. I have wanted to see it for months. Also, I have another Church Rally coming up... which means I will be posting hundreds of photos again soon... hehe. I am so happy I am back into this blogging business again. I hope I get more readers. I love you guys... when I got on and realized I had more than 30 subscriptions, that's what made me do this again... and it has HELPED so much! I am venting here... and just saying what I feel.. and I don't have to be bummed out...
Thanks so much for subscribing and commenting... Hopefully more people will join in!

So strong, yet so delicate

Sisters in Pink
Originally uploaded by *Sakura*

So strong... it can stand the wind, the rain, the birds landing on the branches... but one small thing can end it's existence.
So beautiful, standing alone...
I love my life today... and I think I have a lot of good coming my way!

so delightful!

so delightful!
Originally uploaded by KatColorado

This is exactly how I feel...
I am tangled in happy little lights... walking around the world, letting everyone see me, unguarded, real. My personality and bright colors still shine through, and I reach out, and push my happy energy lights toward everyone...

I IM'd Jeanne tonight and told her that I had a bunch of Wonderful, and I came on to share some. So I gave her enough wonderful to last through the weekend... just through thought...

I love this photo... It is so me today... glowing, and brightly holding every little light inh a place where nobody else seems to want to shine... =) I love my life

You Are The Sister Of My Soul

Originally uploaded by dujarandille

Wonderful day today. I brought Christi birthday cupcakes. If you all recall, she came into the story of my life April of last year... and I said she'd be an important character. That has yet to change. I am so relaxed, and so very happy lately.
I am thinking in songs again... hence the title of my post (Pacha Mamas)
I miss my Brittany so BAD...
I sort of miss Casey again... woohoo... right? I sort of want to start hanging out again... but no rush.
I got sweet tea...
anyway... Everything was wonderful...
One really bitchy girl brought my mood down... but it was quickly restored with amazing life... hehe. I really love my life!

This was 2 days ago...

018
Originally uploaded by samisimplicity

This is my photo... I took it right outside our house... les than a quarter mile... didn't even have to leave our neighborhood!

Eye, don't cry

Eye, don't cry
Originally uploaded by cornerofart

I feel like finally, I trust somebody... well... a couple people.... and they turn around, and make me feel useless. I do so much for them... and all of a sudden... I am nothing.
What the hell?!
So, I am here to say, if this is the case, I am much too good for you guys. I patiently wait, and forgive, and you.... YOU act like a 4 year old and refuse to admit you are wrong in this... I take blame where I was wrong... but for people to stand and pretend they are too good for me, when I put so much forth for them... well, dear... that's just BULLSHIT!

I hate Black Coffee !!!

I hate Black Coffee !!!
Originally uploaded by AnRb

This so fits this past week for me. Out of the ordinary, extra colorful, warm, comforting, and ever-changing. I started with the red... hot, frustrated. Then the blue, I was sick, and down... and now, these past 3 days, have been green... rich and prosperous.

So, I recently realized I can link flickr to my blog. This is just a tester one... but all the info in it is accurate. I will be posting a lot more now, as flickr has been my home page for over a month, and I constantly am seeing photos that work with my emotion. I also can post MY photos with everything now... lets see how it works. <3
love you all

I am getting over this

I am getting over this icky sickness...
We haven't had school in 8 days....
I'm tired, and coughing, and aching...
but all complaints aside...
My antibiotic is helpful...
I'll be seeing an ENT, probably to get a tube put in my ear... oh joy!

Sometimes

I wonder where I'll be in 20 years... how much will I succeed? Where will my flaws be, and what will I regret? Hell... I wonder about 2 years from now... humm... random thought of the day

Scream at it, praise it, and stab it in the back!

Great weekend. I went to the movies and saw Valentines Day with Brandon. <3 Love Love Love Love. Then I came home, got on facebook... and for some unknown reason, Kevin deleted my facebook page... and I cried for a moment... screamed about it, and packed up and went to the Hilton resort to see some family staying in town for a couple days.
Then yesterday, I had church... and we went to 3 retirement homes after we left the church, and gave out Valentines hugs and "kisses." <3
Yeah, life is good... but I am so pissed about him deleting me... it really confuses me.

I also miss

Kevin knowing what was wrong before anyone...
just saying. He changed his profile picture today and it was a picture of HIM for the first time in months... and I cried... wtf?
ANYWAY
I had a good day aside from that.
Mommy and Sami hit the town, and got our nails done.
I felt understood for the first time since everything died.
That's how I address that dark time: When everything dies...
hmmmm...
Life is better every day. I still feel incomplete... listen to that song: Incomplete by Alanis... its in my playlist right there -->

You know?

You know what I miss:
I miss 3 am chats with Jeanne... lol...
I miss laughing till my stomach hurts on the phone with Raydel
I miss starbucks with Brittany
I miss acting with Kevin
I miss understanding people like Casey
I miss crying on Dixies shoulder
I miss reading bible verses that promote homosexuality with Judi
I miss skinny dipping with Brittany
I miss singing with Cassie
I miss 1st period with Brandon.
I miss Wet'n'Wild with Anna and Brit
I miss spending 7 hours at the mall with Julianna
I miss movies with Hannah
I miss Piña Coladas with Deanna
I miss hiking with Christi
I miss feeling welcome by people
I miss stopping by Carmen's room before school every day and laughing at her goofy husband.
I miss running away from Price trying to throw his shoe at me for forgetting my lines.
I miss laughing until I cried with Judy
I miss singing along with Amy at stardust
I miss being tossed 10 feet in the air while Dara screamed advice at me.

AHHHH!

I screwed it up... I really think I did... but he is the only thing I have thought about...
I swear, even before we dated, I thought of him EVERY day for MONTHS... and now I cant go five minutes without thinking about him! And he said we'd get back together after a short break... and then today, he said we wont... His EXACT words were "It will end the same"... which is the reason I didn't want to go into the relationship the FIRST time, I was SO afraid of losing my best friend... and now, I haven't slept in 9 days, and I haven't gone 5 minutes without thinking of him... why??? Why did I have to be like that... and WHY did I have to point fingers and pretend I was upset... what good did it do... I overreacted to a SMALL argument and a SMALLER disagreement, and now that I see his side, HE IS WALKING AWAY... and I am counting every step he takes... and he is walking uphill, and I have no legs... so, I am just stuck, using every ounce of strength to catch him, but never even reaching half the speed he goes... and originally, I made EVERY excuse....
and now, I decided not to drink anymore...
and I decided to put more trust in him!
and he is GONE... like that, before I could ever tell him I was wrong to point fingers, and I was wrong to be acting that way... and yeah, I have made bad choices... but he made me a better person... and I fucked up... and like that... he is gone, and I lay here, for 9, now 10 nights in a row, crying, and thinking to myself... WHY AM I SO STUPID...
I have quit throwing my pillows, and taking things out on inanimate objects... and I am doing all this thinking he will never love me again... and it just upsets me to have these habits, because I am reminded of why I lost him!

He is the only person I trust up here... and I lost him because I made him think I didn't trust him... I don't really trust anyone anymore... Christi even seems to distant to talk to... and Kevin is all I had... And now he doesn't want anything to do with me...

Kevin... I am SO sorry... I hope we can work something out... and if now, I hope you have a happy life, with somebody who doesn't make that same stupid mistake I did... You do deserve somebody great...
I am so... SO sorry! I still do love you... I had a connection there... And it hurts me to see you even in the hallway... When I saw you after school the other day, the reason it took so long to spit it out, is because I was telling myself not to cry...
If nothing else, can you atleast say you forgive me... and still be my BFFAEAEAE? <---inside joke for all other readers...

Wish

Sometimes I wish I could look at my blog, and put everything into words that were as powerful as my feelings. Right now, I want to cry... like WANT to... and I want my blog to capture every moment of it... not for the world to see, but for the sake of preserving the feeling somewhere that I can look back on it and truly understand.... so i will never forget what it feels like... =(
No, it's not a good feeling... but still... its a feeling... and in order to prevent feeling this way in the future, I must remember what it feels like

Pissed.

I am pissed about something I shouldn't be. Knoxilee news is SO stupid... Knoxville thinks university football and republicans are the only important thing in America. On the news, instead of covering HAITI, which I think is more important, they have stupid stories on the local football coach who up and left, irrelevant to the rest of the world.... but god forbid they don't have a good season...
oh, and FYI, my team has beat yours for YEARS now... so cover some real news and get over yourself! grrrr

Guideline

Guidleline number 1 of my life:
Always have a back-up plan for 'trusted people...'

Crying

So... Kevin and I broke up last weekend. It hasn't hit me really until today... He was my crying shoulder when I lost people before... And I called like 5 people tonight... NOBODY answered... all to busy I guess... and then Kevin thinks that I didn't trust him... I got mad because he stayed the night at another girls house... and used trust as something to hold against him. In reality, I wasn't mad... I was jealous... that he would rather spend time with that group of friends than me... and I was hurt...
and now, I have been crying for two hours, and Kevin said he is ANGRY with me because I didn't trust him, when in reality, he was the only person left that I trusted... now I feel alone... like... I have nobody

Rules of my life

So, my friend Wilson, who is amazing, is posting "Rules of his life"
well, instead of RULES, I want to post 'Guidelines of my life'
So, whenever they come to mind, I will post something you need to know to survive in my shoes!

BOREDOM!

BASIC INFORMATION

Name: Sami
Birthday: July 18, 1992
Shoe Size: 9
Hair Colour: Dark brown, a copper tint
Eye Colour: BROWN
Relationship Status: <3
Zodiac: Cancer
School: Seymour
__________________________________________________
FAVOURITES

Colour: Green
Male Celebrity: Will Smith
Female Celebrity: Ellen Degeneres
Shoes: My boots, or my SLIPPERS
Brand: Chanel... but when in a cash cruncher, I will settle for walmart! haha
Book: The Georgia Nicholson Series
Sport: Cheerleading
TV Show: Glee!
School Colours: Blue and Orange (GO GATORS!)
Drink: SWEET TEA!
Food: Shrimp!
Gum: Wintergreen
__________________________________________________
NAME SOMETHING THAT STARTS WITH

A: Animals
B: Brilliant
C: Caring
D: Drama
E: Evergreen
F: Fireflies
G: Grace
H: Happiness
I: Intuition
J: Joy
K: Kindness
L: Love
M: Magic
N: Neverland
O: Open Mindedness
P: Presence
Q: Questions
R: Rivers
S: Sea
T: Trust
U: Understanding
V: Voice
W: Will
X: eXtraordinary
Y: Youthful
Z: Zeal
__________________________________________________
FIRST PERSON YOU THINK OF

Food: Niki!
Fashionista: Brittany
Locker: Christi
Tall: Me
Short: Mama Tank
Fat: Niki. LOL. ILY
Gorgeous: Niki... hehe
Best Friend: Brittany...
Silly: Kevin
Retarded: Me
Blonde: Kevin
Fun: Kevin
Cute: Kevin
Hot: Kodi =P
__________________________________________________
LOVE

Have a Crush: Yes
Do they like you back: Yes
Or are you in a Relationship Now: Yes
If Someone Likes You: ?
Prefer Tall or Short: Tall
__________________________________________________
5..

5 FAVOURITE MOVIES
1. ALL the harry potters
2. Hitch
3. Finding Nemo
4. I Am legend
5. The hangover

5 FAVOURITE CELEBRITIES
1. Will Smith
2. Ellen Degeneres
3. Kathy Griffin
4. Tina Fey
5. Johnny Depp

5 REASONS TO LIKE SOMEONE
1. Chemistry
2. Sense of humor
3. Head on straight
4. Attractive
5. Spontaneous

5 THINGS YOU FIND IN YOUR ROOM
1. Amy Steinberg poster
2. Candy (hidden)
3. Beads
4. Shoes (lots)
5. Photo albums

5 THINGS YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT
1. Cell phone
2. Facebook
3. Candy
4. Funyuns
5. Sweet Tea

5 BEST SONGS
1. Hope- Amy Steinberg
2. Hands- Jewel
3. So Unsexy- Alanis
4. Love is Free- Sheryl Crow
5. Steady Flow- LeRoy White

5 BEST ARTISTS/BANDS
1. Alanis
2. Jewel
3. Amy Steinberg
4. Sheryl Crow
5. LeRoy White

5 BEST BRANDS/STORES
1. Walmart
2. Chanel
3. Target
4. 5-7-9
5. Coldwater Creek
__________________________________________________
QUESTIONS

1. Have an obsession? MAYBE
2. Where do you plan to go this summer? Florida, Kansas, Missouri, North Carolina, Colorado, Georgia
3. What Month is it? January!!!! New YEAR!
4. Anything big coming up? Everything big is coming up... the rest of my LIFE
5. Why are you doing this? I needed to fill time waiting for a reply from Kristal, who had wanted a baby sitter
6. Like your parents? LOVE them!
7. Do you sleep with a teddy bear? No... I sleep with a turtle... given to me by bricky!
8. Do you eat when your nervous? YES!
9. Own a dress? Lots
10. Are you a fast typer? Yes... otherwise I wouldnt waste my time on this crap... lol
11. Do you wanna have kids? When I am in my late TWENTIES, I would START considering adopting
12. Who do you usually have Christmas dinner with? Grandparents?
13. Who do you celebrate New Years with? Different EVERY year!
14. Where do you live? At my house
15. Have you made a cootie catcher in your younger years? I STILL make those when I am bored... lol
16. Plans this weekend? Yep. Niki and me, hitting the town... lol
17. To your left is: a wall?
18. To your right is: A piano
19. In your pocket is: I don't have pockets
20. Nervous about anything? Nope
21. Scared of the Dark? Nope
22. Have any phobias? Yep!
__________________________________________________
THE END

Happy your done? Sorta
What are you gonna do now? Publish this, and do another?

Never

The greatest advice I ever received was from a man who I consider to be wise beyond most humans. I think it is because of his warm and open heart, that he is able to tap into the words that need said to make everyone feel better. The words he gave me, that I will NEVER forget: "It just is."
If I could live forever, I wouldn't want to. Seeing people leave me would be too much... If I could have 1 wish, I would be able to understand peoples thoughts better. I may be 17, but I have seen a lot... I have lived through a lot, and at the same time, I feel that I know nothing... in proportion to what there is to learn.
I never want to quit learning...
I never want to be forgotten...
I never want to be left behind...
I never want to be arrogant...
I never want to betray...
I never want to be lost...
I never want to see you turn your back on me... but sometimes we don't get what we want...
and I suppose all that happens is MEANT to!

I love you.

I don't know you,
dear, but I love you.
I want to know you,
but I haven't that
option. All I can
really do now is
love you

So, whoops

I accidentally saved last weeks post as a draft instead of a post... so you didn't see it...
It basically said that I have a resolution to right this year to fight depression... so I will continue blogging... I will have to figure out how to re-post it... =\

Sort of random

My thoughts over the past few days have been random... very random...
Juggling sticks
scraped toe
texting
surprise party
my boyfriend met jeanne
and i was excited
and I know this sounds weird, but I am thrilled to introduce Jeanne to my boyfriend, because if you all recall, she was a major influence on my life... and I adore that two people who influence me so much, get to meet.

Rally

I went to another church retreat...
and from that:
I have seen auras of people, all meshing as one bright white... I have seen people smiling and laughing. I have seen 200 teenagers from all over, dancing together as if nobody is watching. I have seen a room full of people come to life when a drum starts to play. I have seen people of all ages and backgrounds come together and hug each other. I have seen 200 teenagers scream to let negative energy out, and cry when the positive intake overwhelmed them.
I have danced to the rhythm of my soul
I have slept on a canoe as people sang joyous tunes all around in their own boats.
I have let go of my fear for a moment, long enough to forget it, and enjoy a song.
I have laid down on a floor, and been moved to tears by words, .
I have colored a mask that I hide behind...
I have thrown that mask away
I have met the most inspirational people around
I have met tomorrows great thinkers
I have spent time learning about other people
I have danced around like a 4 year old.
I have walked up to people I didn't know, to blow bubbles at them.
I have sang Bob Marley and The Beatles while joining hands with many people.
I have cried on the shoulder of a trusted stranger...
I have seen people tie colored strings of yarn on their friends...
I have tied more than 50 pieces of yarn in somebodies hair.
I have eaten lunch with an idol of mine
I have done this in a 4 day period.
I have lived for less than 18 years...
what have you done?

And even with these events, it was not the best 4 days of my life... but it was still amazing

slacker

OOPS. I have been very bad about this whole thing. Between homecoming week, multiple feild trips, and sickness, i have not found much time to blog.
So basically... this is the dealio:
I have been seeing a chiropractor mondays, wednesdays, and fridays to correct my neck and junk
I have been seeing my boyfriend every tuesday...
I have been in school
I have been babysitting
I have been in Ohio...
I have been preparing for HC week
I have been in scholars bowl tournaments
I have been at scholars bowl practice
I have been in drama
I have been in debate
I have been helping prepare science club
I have been doing spanish work
I have been keeping an insight journal.
I have been trying to keep up with Algebra II
I have been in church
I have been fundraising
I have been teaching
I have been Hiking
I have been skating
I have been to a Renaissance Festival
I have been busy...
=)

the shit hits the fan

SO...
We had a tournament that we hosted at school for drama/debate...
and one of our 'leaders' decided to talk about our AMAZING coach... and say bad things to another team....
Giving us a bad name.
so... it was addressed today, and just like that... things BLOW up... and we find out that this kid went through a personal email inbox that belonged to our coach...
long story short... MY integrity ended up being the only positive about this afternoon...
Christi, aka Mrs. Ridley left school sick... and I was stuck with her classes and a sub... who was slightly less than sure of my ability to handle the class...
I mean... really...? I LIVE THERE!

y7e9

yesterday
or maybe the day before...
I was sitting with you...
but you somehow are gone...
for months according to the headstone
but how...
how does august turn to october.
and how dare it?
the world just keeps moving
why don't they wait for me...
why didn't you wait
until i was ready for you to leave?
see how you have left me...

continue

I am needing to continue blogging.
I miss it... and I have been getting depressed again. this was my vent... and I NEED it back...
so, again, I will resume AT LEAST once a week.
I have been feeling angry lately...
at dead people none-the-less...
I am SO mad at them for being gone... =(